Dan Mangano - Enriching the lives of men and women around the globe…

“It’s one thing to BE great with women. It’s entirely another to be able to TEACH others.

It takes a lot more than you may think. A teacher must have personality, patience, a great speaking presence, and a deep understanding of guys’ struggles. In addition, he must be caring, full of integrity, and authentic. He must express unconditional love while being real with himself and everyone around him.

And of course, he absolutely must be GREAT with women.

Besides myself, there are only a couple of guys I have met in my entire life that possesses ALL of these qualities. And I am proud to say I have brought one of these guys on as one of my coaches—Dan Mangano.

I will never hire just anyone to teach for me so I can build a company and make money. It isn’t about the money for me. My students’ success is my own success. So, I only hire the best of the best.

That’s the bar I’ve set. Dan Mangano rises above it. He’s that good.

Dan will be working with me on all of my upcoming projects and is available for one-on-one coaching and phone coaching. For more information, you can contact him at dan@badboywithaheart.com“

-Cory Skyy
http://www.badboywithaheart.com

For whatever reason you may have; you decided be proactive and improve your life with women.

Congratulations. That’s a much bigger step than most guys will ever take.

But what happens when you actually get to that point? When you are having much more success than you ever had in the past. Do you just settle then? No, of course not. You are constantly trying to improve yourself. That’s the effed up thing. You and I both know that you are the type of guy that is never quite satisfied with his lot in life. You always see the greener grass on the other side of the fence.

For years I struggled to understand why women didn’t like me. Was I too ugly, fat, smart, sarcastic, etc….?? Whatever the reason was, I always found a way to blame myself for it, and I ended up hating myself.

Everyone around me seemed to think I was cool enough, good looking enough, outgoing enough. But that was because they knew me, and I was comfortable around them. I even heard the worst compliment you could say to a young man; “Dan is such a nice boy, why doesn’t he have a girlfriend?” I heard that countless number of times.

So I made a change. I went to college. I learned how to be social. I even started getting better with women. I’ve gone on more dates in this last year, than I did in all my cumulative years prior.

And what have I learned? I’ve learned that I don’t have to be desperate, I don’t have to leave it to chance, and that I actually have choice with women.

That’s a long way from where I was a few years ago.

I’ve realized know; that if I don’t really feel a connection with a woman, then I don’t have to drag it out. I can be honest with her. I can say “I have a lot of fun hanging out with you, but I just don’t really feel a spark between us.”

I. Can. Be. The. One. To. End. It.

Simple as that. So can you. You know why?

Because there are a hell of a lot more women out there. I live in New York City. That’s the city with the largest population in the United States. Over half of which are women.

So if I don’t really connect with one; guess what, there are 200 more that I see within the first 5 seconds of leaving my front door.

The sooner you get over the idea that you can never do better, that you can’t really find the woman that does it for you, or that you will never even find another woman…

The hell of a lot happier you will be.

Go out. Meet someone. Go on a date with her. If you want; go on two, three, 20 dates with her. But do it because you want to, and it makes you happy; not because you think you have to.

How many times have you thought to yourself, “She must not really like me… she doesn’t respond to any of my text messages or calls”??

We all have. That’s the reason a lot of guys set out to improve themselves, and their lives with women. Many of you probably still do it.

Well, guess what? It ain’t ever going away. Cause if it does, then you no longer care. If you no longer care, then you’re dead; and what the hell does it matter then?

I’ve been working on myself for a while now. I’m a pretty damn confident guy. Probably bordering on cocky. But, when I actually care about seeing a girl, then it still hits me too.

But, even I have to admit that I am not good enough to compete with technology.

At the end of last week, I went out and bought a brand spankin’ new BlackBerry. Paid a few hundred bucks for it too. This was because I had recently gone swimming with my other new BlackBerry. Sadly, I cannot use the excuse that I was drunk… but I digress, and that is a story for another time.

So I got this new BB, paid a bunch of money for it, and even upgraded my plan so I could get my email on it too. That way, I could definitely NEVER escape work.

Immediately, I start checking things out, send a few emails, and some text messages. On Saturday night, I was supposed to meet up with my girl, and go out. It’s my boy Joey’s bday, so a bunch of us are meeting up for drinks and a little partying. I text her, let her know where I am gonna be, and tell her to meet me there. Don’t hear anything back. Cool. I out partying… no big deal.

Now, I hadn’t actually seen her for a little while; as I’ve been traveling, and she’s been wicked busy at work. So, by today I was getting antsy, and decided “F*ck it! I guess she’s just not that into me. I’m writing it off.”

As I go to the gym, I’m telling Sean my story about how she hasn’t gotten back to me, and decided I am tired of non-responsiveness. He agrees.

But, by this time, I am beginning to wonder why the hell none of my friends are responding to me either. So I test it out, and my roommates aren’t getting any of my text messages.

I call up AT&T wireless to complain that my text messaging isn’t working. They respond with “you don’t have text messaging”…

Side note: So WTF was I paying $30/month for… unlimited internet? That’s it? Yes. That is in fact, ‘it’.

I tell the operator on the phone to upgrade my plan to the $40/month plan where I actually can text… and then it hits me.

F*CK!

It’s not that she was being non-responsive… technology was just bending me over the table and firmly f*cking me in the ass!

She never got my text message.

I guess I’m not quite dumb enough to drive her away.

And guess what?? Neither are you.

So before you start contemplating all the things you did wrong to make her not want to talk to you anymore… make sure it’s not some outside influence that is getting in the way.

To learn more about why you should text a girl, rather than talk on the phone… go to Sean Messenger’s podcast site, and check out what he has to say on the issue: http://seanmessenger.podbean.com/

Recently, I had a student ask me if he would be insulting a girl if he didn’t sleep with her. She was, after all, going to be coming over his house to hang out with him.

All his friends told him that if he didn’t sleep with her, then she would be angry and insulted. But, she did just get out of a relationship; and they had been flirting for quite awhile before they lost contact for the last couple of months. My response to him was simple.

Don’t listen to everyone else.

Go with your gut. You can put some sort of logical fucking structure to something like this. Your friends sure as hell can’t tell you what is going to be right between you and this girl. But, you’re afraid of being stuck in the “let’s just be friends” zone; right? Well, ask yourself; how have I communicated with this girl in the past?

Was I there listening to all her problems during the breakup with her previous boyfriend; like a best friend? Well, chances are you already know where you stand with her. And the only reason you are doubting yourself, is because you would desperately like some way to convince her that you would be a good boyfriend and lover; because she sees you as everything but.

Or were you two flirting back and forth; building the sexual tension, every time you saw each other? If this sounds like the more likely scenario, then you are in a better position for the two of you to move beyond friends. So what do you do? Do you try to establish this as a sexual relationship right away, and sleep together that first night? Not if you ever want to see her again.

My advice is simple. Progress the relationship as far as you can in the opposite direction of friends zone. But don’t push it any further than she is comfortable with; or you are for that matter. When you force a relationship to go in the sexual direction too fast, then she will regret having gone there with you, without being totally comfortable. I don’t give a shit what anyone tells you about so-called last minute resistance. If a woman wants to sleep with you, she will; if not, she won’t. Don’t force the issue. If she’s not ready, she will tell you.

You will respect each other a lot more if you wait till it is the natural time for the two of you to be together. Enjoy her company. Have those fun, high-school style, make out sessions. But, you are insulting her a lot more by sleeping with her too soon, rather than waiting a little extra time. Besides, you are a clit-tease anyway, right? Too learn more about creating real, genuine connection with a woman; so you know when it is the right time; look in the Art of Rapport.

We are just wrapping up the first ever Art of Rapport in Chicago.

So far, we’ve blasted through 2 days of material, exercises, and running around talking to girls. All the guys are kicking ass!

We’ve been out on the streets of Chicago making girls smile. Everyone has developed the ability to meet women in a much more natural setting; in a bookstore, in the mall, on the street. These are the places that women actually want to meet you; not in a bar.

Tonight, we are going to be holding an intro to PickUp 101’s Art of Attraction, and Art of Rapport. You will have the chance to meet some of the PickUp 101 SuperGirls http://thesupergirls.com/. But, you will also have the chance to meet some of the students that have gone through the Art of Rapport this weekend. They will be available to answer you questions; like “are these guys full of shit?”.

I know more than one person has been sitting there thinking that in their head.

Come tonight. Check out the intro seminar. Learn a little more about the program. Ask the students if they actually got anything out of the weekend. Sign up here: http://pickup101chicago.eventbrite.com/

You’ve got it all wrong man.

Picking up women is a completely linear process. If it doesn’t go exactly the way you set it up to, then you are fucking up. I will break down for you what the guys that go from meeting to bed in 7 hours of seducing a woman actually do:

Hour 1: Contemplate going out. “Yeah, all the girls there are bitches… I don’t have that much fun anyway”

Hour 2: Get pestered by friends until they finally relent and go out. “Whatever… you guys are stupid; but I guess I can show you how to do it”

Hour 3: Find food to fuel up for all those girls your gonna talk to. “How does no one have gum?”

Hour 4: Try to get into the place with all the ‘hot chicks’, but can’t get past security. “Whatever… that place sucks anyway…”

Hour 5: Finally get into a bar, ask a girl who lies more; she calls you creepy. Reaffirms that the girls here are ‘bitches’. “I told you man… I’m way too alpha for the girls here!”

Hour 6: Drink lots of beer; to the point of almost falling off the bar stool. It’s then you meet Bertha, the one eyed, toothless girl of your dreams that you will fondly remember as a supermodel. (until your ‘friends’ show you the pictures the next day… with them laughing in the background) “Dude, whatever… it’s not like you met any girls”

Hour 7: Return home with Bertha… too drunk to get it up. She leaves, and you pass out while masturbating to midget porn. SUCCESS! HIGH FIVE! You just went from nothing to blowing your load. Congrats. “I rock!”

If anyone tells you that you have to have a structure for seducing a woman, and that it takes at least 7 hours; call them a douchebag and kindly punch them in the nuts (in an upward motion… bend at the knees), and say that was from me.

Cheers!

Guys often wonder when they should share that first kiss with a woman.

What does society say?

If you watch any movie, you eventually see the first kiss on screen between the two main characters. It has been quite a long time coming. Sure, there has been flirting, and teasing, and playing throughout the entire movie; but that first kiss never seems to happen until the hero has gone through a mountain of hurdles to get there.

First, he has to approach the woman. Simple enough, right? He makes it look so easy. Running down the street, it appears as though it was just meant to be; like that one moment exists for them to meet in the movie.

Then, there comes the wooing period. He takes her out, and is a true renaissance man. He is James Bond. Always has the wittiest thing to say, can salsa dance better than anyone else, and then breaks loose with a solo of Bachs’ greatest hits on the grand piano that just happens to be in the room.

Then she just can’t wait to kiss him, right?

So go take an improv class, dance lessons, and learn to play an instrument. It’s actually a good idea; but it won’t get you women.

What does your mom tell you?

Buy her flowers. Be yourself. Take her on a nice date. Open doors. Pull out her chair. I could go on forever… cause I did all of those, and I still like to do them…

But, even if you do all that; you still don’t know when to kiss her. How many of you have ever been on a date, and it seems like everything is going great; but you haven’t kissed her yet, let alone even touched her. I’ve been there. You’re sitting in the car to drop her off, and the gap between the seats keeps growing and growing and growing. It’s the fuckin’ 90’s energizer bunny man.

The key to knowing when to kiss her, is being able to touch her. You have to start touching her right away. Not in a creepy, I’m gonna paw you kind of way; but in a soft, gentle… I know how to be sexual kind of way. If you never touch her, you will never kiss her.

You are building up to that first kiss. You are adding to the tension in a good way. You are dancing closely, you are holding hands, you are staring into her eyes. But, you aren’t yet kissing. You are building the excitement and the passion to that moment.

When I first kiss a woman; it just feels right. That is the true way to describe it. It feels right in our eyes, our smiles… and most definitely in our lips.

The key for many guys about figuring out when it feels right, is to get out of their heads. Too many guys try to come up with a plan, or nerdy damn formula for exactly when to kiss a woman. If you shut of your brain for half a second, you may actually see all the other signals saying “kiss me”.

When guys over analyze questions like these; I never really understand why. I’ve come into a few realizations about myself and others lately.

I can launch into banter and playfulness at the drop of a hat; but that’s not the best thing to do if you ever want to get a deep connection with a woman. I look at rapport as an opportunity to completely drop all the bullshit that may have been holding me back in the first place. It is similar with all of you when you come up with a playful banter response to a question like this. There’s no need for it.

Like Sean said, just simply answer “no”. What are you gaining by giving her a playful response? It should be obvious by this point that she is into you, and she is looking for some semblance of authenticity to you.

She knows you’re fun, but can you be real?

Yes. You can.

When I respond to a womans questions directly, it is because I am doing so from place of confidence and power. No matter what I say, I am completely congruent with it, and telling her that “This is me. No bullshit. If you don’t like it, I will be sad, but I will be o.k.”

By me answering her question directly, it tells her so much more about me than I could ever communicate through any playful, or cocky, response. Being real is what a lot of guys got into this for. You got tired of the games, and bullshit involved in trying to actually connect with a women. Most guys really want to do what their mom told them when she said “just be yourself”.

You can be; but you also need to figure out who you are first. Once you begin to develop you own identity; you no longer have to come up with canned responses to questions; you know who you are, and everything that you say is congruent with that man.

The playful response is usually the manifestation of a guy’s insecurity about not having a girlfriend. You respond that way because you are not comfortable with the fact that you don’t have anyone in your life at that time. But when you know and accept that you can create your own opportunities to meet someone, you are comfortable in giving direct responses.

I want to paraphrase what Sean’s quote used to say:
‘There are plenty of guys in the world. Don’t be a guy. Be a man.’

Real women want men.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and just simply state that she wasn’t attracted to you.

We’ve all been there. You meet a woman, have an amazing connection with her, have tons in common, yet you never see or hear from her again.

So what’s the deal?

Think of your best friend in the entire world. You have a deep connection with them. You are able to see things in them that no one else can. They get you on a very basic and fundamental level. They know what you are thinking and feeling even before you do. Hell, you may even have everything in common with them. For lack of a better term; your soul mate.

But are you attracted to them?

No.

So what’s going on here? You have a woman, that you find very attractive, that is up there on the level with your soul mate. But, it’s not a two way street. You were comfortable. You were safe. You were easy. There wasn’t going to be any challenge there for her. It may have been slightly exciting in the moment, that a random person would be able to connect with her so quickly. But, it wasn’t fun.

That is the point of banter. banter is what makes the interaction fun and sexy. I know some others disagree with variations on direct approaches; but in my opinion, there are a few different levels of a direct approach:

The first is indirect. Obviously, this is complete non-direct:

Me: Hey, do you know where Starbucks is?
Her: Umm, it’s like 3 blocks down, two blocks….
Me: Awesome! You’re so totally hired as my tour guide!

In this approach, you are being completely fun and playful. You are bantering so that she realizes this is a fun interaction, that she will want to go into rapport with you to see if you are real too.

There’s is also movie moment. VERY direct:

Me: (pause) Hi. I was sitting across the room, reading the paper, and I saw you. There’s just something about you, I had to come meet you. My names Dan.
Her: Hi. I’m …..

Now, for anyone that hasn’t taken AoR. The movie moment is most definitely not about the words. It’s about the raw energy behind them. Basically, you are communicating that you would have died had you not come over and said hi.

Then there’s what you did. I call it “sincere direct”. Sincere direct is a mix of indirect and movie moment. Basically, you are saying the same direct things as the movie moment, but you energy is changed because you are calling her cute. Calling a girl cute, is a fun and playful thing to do.

Me: Hi. I saw you on the plane earlier, and I just had to come over and tell you that you are incredibly cute.
Her: Thanks. Your so nice. No one comes up to someone in the airport like that.

In case you hadn’t picked up on it, that was the beginning of an interaction I just had with a Sienna Miller look-a-like the other day in the airport. Now, from here I have two options as I see it. I can be a cool guy that had the balls to give her a compliment, or I can continue to demonstrate that I am a sexy, fun, confident guy by flirting with her.

If I want to be the first, then I can continue to vibe with her, and make a great “soul mate” connection. But, she may not be attracted to me.

Me: Hi. I saw you on the plane earlier, and I just had to come over and tell you that you are incredibly cute.
Her: Thanks. Your so nice. No one comes up to someone in the airport like that.
Me: So what are you doing in XYZ?
Her: I’m just back for a couple of days before I leave on business again.
Me: blah blah blah
Her: blah blah blah

But, if I want to guarantee that she sees me as a sexy, fun guy before we develop that connection, then I will banter with her some more.

Me: Hi. I saw you on the plane earlier, and I just had to come over and tell you that you are incredibly cute.
Her: Thanks. Your so nice. No one comes up to someone in the airport like that.
Me: O.K. This is where you tell me I’m cute too. Wow. You’re not very good at this are you? Let’s start over. I’ll come back up and tell you you’re cute, and then you have to give me a compliment too.

I’ve quickly set the pace of the interaction to be more fun and playful, because I bantered with her. Just because you walk up to a girl, tell her she’s cute, and get a smile; don’t expect her to start swooning right away. You’ve still got a little work to do. But, as long as you remain the confident, fun, sexy, cool guy that you were on the approach, you won’t have a problem.

Cheers!

Hey Guys,

David Deangelo just shipped an interview with fellow instructor, Sean Newman.

Let me be the first to say that it kicks ass!

Lots of great banter tips, and suggestions to enrich the lives of all around you!

Check out Sean Newman’s blog here: http://seannewman.blogspot.com